immeasurable

suddenly, it's February. and the world is all about love. I get the feeling I'll be writing about love a lot this month. it's hard not to think about when the world is plastered pink and red.

I've never liked Valentine's Day. as a child, it was geared towards the exchange of small cards and candy at school. what should have been a nice gesture to show love to everyone, became a popularity contest. whose Mother bought them the coolest cards to give out? which girls got the "I like you" messages and which ones got the "just friends"? who got the good candy in their mailboxes, and who got the kind no one likes?

as we grow older, the competition becomes more fierce. do you have a date for February 14th? is your boyfriend taking you to a fancy restaurant or are you just going to the usual place? is he getting you jewelry? is he going to finally propose? did he pre-order his roses or will your flowers be wilting? I hate all the hype. because to me, love shouldn't be something you compete over. and it shouldn't be something measured by the size of the bouquet or the bill or the diamond.

I don't think love is something you can measure. certainly not in dollars. to me, the important things in a relationship are small but meaningful gestures. my fiance kisses me goodbye before he leaves for work every morning. every morning.  it may not mean much to someone else, but to me it's a gesture of love. something that pulls at my heartstrings and makes me smile. it reminds me that I'm loved. and that means much more to me than a box of chocolates would.

it doesn't make me more loved than anyone else. I'm just saying that I am loved. and that's my point: love can't be a competition, because every person and every relationship is different. we each have our own capacity for love- for giving and receiving. you can't compare because it's all relative. each of us place varying values on certain words and gestures, and each of us have to put varying amounts of sacrifice and effort to say and do those things.

the only people who can understand the love in a relationship are the people in that relationship.the important thing is that we do love, and that we love with all we are capable of giving.