today marks one month since I deactivated my facebook account.
the other day I was shopping, and at the checkout the cashier asked me if I was a fan of their store on facebook. I told her no, since I had deactivated my account. I was expecting some spiel about missing out on coupons when instead, she praised my choice: "that's awesome, good for you! I bet it feels amazing to have that kind of freedom..." I told her it did, and I meant it.
there are times when I think I miss facebook because it makes you feel like you're connected to people. up to speed, in the know. but the interactions I've had in the month since deactivating... those connections are more real. clicking a little thumbs-up button just doesn't cut it for me anymore. I want words. I crave conversation. seeing someone's face, hearing someone's voice, or at the very least reading words through text or email that are meant for me, and not for those who will read them.
I think a lot of people fall into that trap on facebook. you don't always say things with complete honesty, because you want to look good. you know that literally hundreds of people will see what you write. so we try to be funnier than ourselves, or more profound. we write what we think they want to hear, try to project an image of ourselves that is not always true. just for the sake of appearances.
thinking about it that way makes me not want to go back. maybe ever.
do I miss out on what's going on in people's lives? yes, but most of what I'm missing are things I didn't care to know in the first place. the people who matter reach out in other ways when there's something to tell. do I occasionally wish I could creep on those non-important people out of idle curiosity? yes. that's called being human. [don't lie, I know you creep on people too] does not being on facebook keep the people who I don't want creeping on me from doing so? absolutely not. they read this blog, or follow me on pinterest or twitter. [and with all the blogging + pinning + tweeting I've been doing in the last month they have plenty to creep on.]
but without facebook, life seems simpler. it feels a little more private. quieter. less pressure to pretend friendships and constantly compete in the boasting and bragging. a little isolated at times, but in a good way. I get to be alone enough to be myself. what I put out into the world is less influenced. so I think, for the time being at least, I'll stay where I am.