theorems, charts, and equations

the goal is determined, but the path is uncertain. 

I'm in the waiting room. flipping through all the brochures and celebrity gossip magazines. gathering information, looking for a distraction. what comes next could be a little painful. it will definitely be different... an adventure both amazing and terrifying. so, I'm getting a little anxious waiting for them to call my name. I'm not sure how long I'll be here. 8 months... a year... and a half... or two? but I do know that the longer I have to wait to find out how I'm getting to where I'm going, the more rationalizing I'm going to have to do to keep myself sane.

I am having a hard time explaining this without giving the full explanation. I can't do that yet. so, let's talk in code. a is an event which can either happen or not happen. b is a task that must be completed if a happens. c is a situation we would like to occur, with the completion of b increasing the favorability of c. the eventual goal is d. let's make things more outrageous by presenting you with a set of theoretical limits and equations:

if a, then b. 
after b is complete, c or d. 
if c after b, then d after c.

if not-a, attempt c. 
if c, then d after c. 
if c not possible, then d. 

the path starts with either a or not-a .
b can only follow a.
c can follow b or not-a, but cannot follow d.
d can follow b or c or not-a.
the path ends at d.

would it be completely ridiculous for me to put this into a chart?

yes, it would. but I did it anyway. it helps me to be able to visualize my life into something that appears to be organized. because at this point, that's all I can do. that, and wait for the path to be revealed.

the goal is determined, but the path is uncertain.