**the goal is determined, but the path is uncertain.**

*I'm in the waiting room*. flipping through all the brochures and celebrity gossip magazines. gathering information, looking for a distraction. what comes next could be a little painful. it will definitely be different... an adventure both amazing and terrifying. so, I'm getting a little anxious waiting for them to call my name. I'm not sure how long I'll be here. 8 months... a year... and a half... or two? but I do know that the longer I have to wait to find out how I'm getting to where I'm going, the more rationalizing I'm going to have to do to keep myself sane.

I am having a hard time explaining this without giving the full explanation. I can't do that yet. so, let's talk in code.

**a**is an event which can either happen or not happen.

**b**is a task that must be completed if

**a**happens.

**c**is a situation we would like to occur, with the completion of

**b**increasing the favorability of

**c**. the eventual goal is

**d**. let's make things more outrageous by presenting you with a set of theoretical limits and equations:

**if a, then b.**

**after b is complete, c or d.**

**if c after b, then d after c.**

**if not-a, attempt c.**

**if c, then d after c.**

**if c not possible, then d.**

**the path starts with either a or not-a .**

**b can only follow a.**

**c can follow b or not-a, but cannot follow d.**

**d can follow b or c or not-a.**

**the path ends at d.**

would it be completely ridiculous for me to put this into a chart?

yes, it would. but I did it anyway. it helps me to be able to visualize my life into something that appears to be organized. because at this point, that's all I can do. that, and wait for the path to be revealed.

*the goal is determined, but the path is uncertain.*

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