on being seen.

I'm going through vacation photos and editing not really editing, mostly just deleting. sometimes I get a little freaky going through photos. especially when [as is the case with these vacation photos] I have not been shooting very often recently. and though part of photography is knowing which pictures not to keep, it can be rough trashing 80% of what you jut loaded. sure, they're only vacation snapshots, but how easy it is to slip back into self-criticism and doubt. delete, delete, delete. that's not very interesting. no one wants to see these. delete, delete, delete. should I even bother to post these to facebook? delete, delete, delete. I wish someone would have told me my hair was messed up. delete, delete, delete.

but then I stumble across the above.

not so much that this is some genius work of art. but Husband, he sees me. the potential that's waiting there under the surface, just waiting for me to figure myself out enough to let it thrive. he sees me, better than I see myself.

and though I might not see what he sees, I know that he sees it. this incredible, extraordinary person that I only catch glimpses of. and when you see someone seeing you like that, it's damn hard not to try and be that person they know you are.

maybe that doesn't make any sense. at the very least you can agree that when you're going through and see a shot that Husband so very obviously took, you'll burst out laughing:

more vacation shots and awkward photos of me in my mint green pants to come.

redecorating

hi kids. it's about that time again... blog redesign time. [for those of you who have been long-time readers, I think I just heard your eyes roll.] it seems like every 4 to 6 months I get the itch to redecorate. and so, I have.

for those of you in google reader, here's what's new:

- I'm back in my pesky courier font phase.

- cute little links for twitter and pinterest. I signed up for a web-based instagram viewing thing a few weeks ago and would add that if I could remember the name of the service and find my account. for those of you with iPhones, I'm @jamiethewalker

- the "followers" box has finally returned. I had someone complain. I feel silly with my meager 9 public followers, but if it makes it easier for people who want to follow to follow... power to the people. feel free to join up or stay anonymous.

- new banner! from one of my favorite photos. taken on a New York City rooftop circa mid December 2009. before I had my DSLR or photoshop. that's one reason why I love it so much... it helps remind me that the tools don't make the photographer.

it also brings to mind a quote, which I will admit, I had to google to find the actual wording and source. I'm not sure I entirely trust the internet to be honest with me today, but as best as I can tell it comes from Albert Camus. and it seems to be wildly appropriate at the moment:
 
in the depth of winter,
I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. 

shooting blind

 

think of it like Harry Potter and the door to platform 9 3/4. 

the only way to get through? believe that you will. close your eyes and run headfirst into it. maybe you'll crash and scrape your nose up on the brick, fall on your ass and watch your precious life tumble off the cart, exposed for all to see. but maybe -if you believe it- you'll make it through. 

and what's on the other side will take your breath away.

dreaming of spring...

Colorado: from mountain to moss

friday five, holiday vacation edition

1. finally getting a chance to shoot some holiday bokeh this year

 2. waking up every morning of vacation to a fresh pot of coffee, not made by me

 3. being a kid again: Twister, leaving cookies and milk for Santa, Legos and more

 4. Larry the dinosaur, who came in a box full of photo gear goodies from Husband

5. having a chance to play with aforementioned photo gear goodies, in a house full of natural light and photogenic cats, dogs, boys, and toys

week 50: trimming the tree

we decided to go minimalist with our tree this year. mostly because the cats like to pull the ornaments off the tree and use them for toys. partially because we were hosting a dinner party and ran out of time after a 9pm grocery trip left us both asleep on the couch. so we stuck with just lights, and the simple star I made a few years back.

sometimes, less is more.

wedding details

 My sister got married last weekend! The ceremony was beautiful, the reception was a blast, and my sister was amazingly gorgeous. She asked me to take some pictures of her invitation, bouquets [from Etsy], and centerpieces for her. I seriously want to steal the light from my deck back home. And this antique wooden bench- perfect backdrop for the rustic/chic details. [I'm also proud to say these photos are 100% sooc, no editing at. ALL. big step for me!]

getting [cross] fit

a few weeks ago, Husband and I drove up to CT to watch our friend participate in his first Crossfit competition. he asked me to take some pictures for him [and lent me his zoom lens]  I've never tried to photograph something like this but I actually had a lot of fun! here's a few favorites from the day:

week 44: selective focus

the unknown

I’ve never really liked the unknown.

I'm a planner. I like to be prepared, on top of things, in the know. if you don't have a plan, don’t worry. I'll make one for you. possibly with an accompanying flowchart, route map, timeline and/or excel spreadsheet. that's just how I roll.

I'll be the first to admit it- I've got control issues.

but there are some things in life, big things, over which I have no control. it's kinda like a roller coaster. [cliché analogy, but I'm going with it] I can make sure my seat belt is securely fastened, but other than that I'm just along for the ride. a slow climb up a big hill, can't see what's over the edge. adrenaline pumping, anticipation building, stomach starts twisting...

and it's up to me to choose how I ride it out: terrified, white-knuckle grip, eyes shut? or hands up, hair in the wind, shouting with joy?

it's time to let go. time to let the unknown be exciting, not scary. time to try new things and go new places. no plans, no maps.

[ok, maybe one map]

friday five

five things I'm thankful for this week:

1. enough light to run by last night at the canal
2. Husband bringing dinner home when I have a bad day
3. using the fireplace for the first time this season
4. warm kittens that like to sleep on my cold toes
5. the package that arrived tuesday... my new lens!

faceless [week] forty in the forest

c+c wedding favorites

came home sick from work today and feeling very blah... but looking through c+c's wedding photos put a smile on my face. I love to see the love in these pictures. and while there's room for improvement, I'm damn proud of what I've done. sharing a few favorites as I FINALLY got the drive mailed off the the happy couple this week. feels good to have completed the job, now I'm ready for the next thing.