pause

it's slow going around here lately... between settling in to my new job and settling in to post-wedding life, time has been as short as ever. but the gifts have all been unwrapped and put away, the thank-yous addressed (if not written), and things are moving towards whatever definition of "normal" my life usually is.

I somehow managed to keep up with the 52 weeks project through all the wedding chaos. (sidenote: yes I plan to finish the post series about the wedding... just needed a break to get some other stuff out) I'm not saying that all of my photos were particularly great or inspiring, but I made it.

and I've almost caught up on editing those. the next on the edit list is honeymoon pictures from Hawaii. I'm almost 1/3 through those. as you can well imagine, after months of hardly having time to pick up the camera and snap a shot of a kitten, I went wild with a week in Hawaii. I was unfortunately on the rusty side so not as many great shots as I would have liked. but let's be honest, I wasn't there to take pictures, I was there to have a relaxing vacation and spend some time with my new husband.

still, it wasn't a total loss. and to make things even more exciting is the fact that I now have Photoshop. I. am. in. love. and I have all these photos to play around with! Once I finish off the Hawaii photos, I will finally finally go back and edit the photoshoot I did in April with Sara. props to her for being so patient. hopefully the wait will be worth it. I know Im dying for my professional wedding photos. but it isn't easy to sort through hundreds or thousands of shots, find the best ones to edit, edit, and get it all together.

there are a ton of other things going on right now. including but not limited to: an online identity crisis (what to do with the baking blog, how and when do I start selling prints, should this blog be redesigned or completely disappear)... a closet that needs to be cleaned out and organized (still hasn't been done since moving 6 months ago)...  and a running habit that needs to be reactivate (though I my wait for this heat wave to pass through). the to-do list is always never ending, isn't it?

the wedding, part 2

The Big Day: I woke up at 9am, after getting a solid 7 hours of sleep. I felt calm, and ready. my sister and cousin went down to get me coffee and breakfast, while I checked emails. I found this waiting for me:

Breathe in the day. How are you feeling? Take note that the way you feel right now is because of a thought you're thinking either consciously or unconsciously. Know that you can create your day any way you see fit. Begin by setting your intention for the day and then CHOOSE to wrap your thoughts around that intention. Your body is the SHIP and you are the captain. Where are you heading today?

I bring only the BEST thoughts to this day!
I am in charge of how I feel.
Love surrounds me!

I decided then and there, no matter what happened, I was going to have an awesome day. I was going to wrap myself in all the love. nothing bad would touch me. I wasn't going to stress, because I had done so much planning in advance that things would be fine. and if something didn't go according to plan, that was fine too. no stress, no worry, no tears. I would only be unbelievably happy.

and it worked...

I drank my coffee in peace as the girls flitted in and out of the room and the shower, getting ready to head to lunch. my sister found Amber and Danielle and baby Lilly in the lobby and brought them up to say hi. we had a chance to catch up and then I hopped in the shower. a few more visitors stopped by and then we headed over to Whole Foods.

what to eat for lunch was a great debate. I wanted something hearty enough that I wouldn't be starving later, but light enough that it wouldn't upset my stomach. I settled on pizza. yeah, that's right, pizza. (I can hear brides across the world gasping in horror). but that was what sounded good and my stomach was happy with me for it. as we were eating the discussion turned to hairstyles, since we were headed to the salon next. I really didn't have much of a plan there. we decided I should find something to put in my hair, jeweled bobby pins or clips. 10 minutes before we needed to leave, Katie J and Catherine and I took off on a mad dash through the mall. we stopped at 3 stores with no luck, but it wasn't a big deal.

we arrived at the salon 5 minutes early. I told them we were here and went to peruse hair accessories... and found the perfect pair of pins. we all sat down and flipped through some style books. there were supposed to be 4 stylists, but apparently they only had 3. they started almost 20 minutes late but my hair didn't take too long. I gave her some general direction and let her do her thing and it turned out great! sadly one of the other stylists was new, and therefore slow and not the best. she had to re-do half of cousin's hair again which delayed us.

while I waited for the other girls to finish, I wandered around the store and found some great lip stain- the last piece I needed. I went to check out and the girl ringing me up asked if we were in a wedding. I said "yep, my wedding!" she almost fell over. apparently I was the most calm bride she had ever seen. "normally girls are in here freaking out because they have to get across town and someone forgot their shoes or they don't like their hair... dang girl!" we were behind schedule (it was nearing 3pm- we were supposed to leave for photos at 3:30) but I wasn't frantic or stressed. I decided to take the girls who were finished and head back to the hotel so we could start getting ready.

I had the room pretty much to myself for a good 20 minutes to wash my face and do my makeup. a nice peaceful break to reflect and prepare. I ate a granola bar and drank a diet coke and 2 glasses of water. we were still behind schedule, but I had anticipated that. it felt like the bridesmaids were freaking out more than I was (no offense ladies) but eventually everyone got back to the hotel, dressed, and was ready to roll. I grabbed my sister and Katie J since she had my dress and hopped in the car.

we saw the groomsmen pull out just ahead of us. the time was 4pm and we had 30 minutes to get to the venue. but of course there was traffic. I decided not to sweat it and popped in Michael Jackson's greatest hits and we rocked out the whole drive over. The Way You make Me Feel... Beat It... Bad... Thriller... singing and dancing the whole way. well, as best as you can dance while driving a car.

at one point in the drive I realized how crazy it was that I was calm enough to be driving myself to my own wedding. wasn't I supposed to be in hysterics? hyperventilating in the backseat while my bridesmaids fanned me and applied water and booze as necessary? but... what did I have to be stressing out about? I was about to marry Luke. the stressful wedding things had been about guest lists and seating charts. about finding a song that wouldn't give away that we didn't how to dance. and those were all taken care of. the wedding was the easy part. why would it be hard to marry the love of my life? no regrets, no doubts. only trust, and confidence, and love.

my sister saw me tearing up at this thought and asked if I was ok. I said I was more than ok, I was awesome! and I was also going to make them cry... and I shared. that I wasn't worried or stress because I knew what I was about to do, I knew that nothing in my life had ever been so right. I was excited, not nervous. and I was already having a damn good time.

the wedding, part 1

I really really really want to write this all out so I can remember it. bear with me because it's going to be a long series of posts with a lot of irrelevant information. and no photos. sorry!

so the last time I blogged... I was shaky. I was flaky. I spilled salad dressing on myself twice in one meal. I took a wrong turn driving to work. I bumped into walls, I blanked out mid-sentence, I could not concentrate on anything for longer than 5 minutes. my family's arrival seemed to coincide with everything kicking into panic mode. lucky for me, crunch time is when I prevail. a hundred small tasks were left to be done, and I was trying to play hostess and cater to everyone's needs, and make sure everything went somewhat close if not according to plan. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. but I was holding it together. (what's that saying about the duck- calm on the surface but paddling furiously underneath?)

Wednesday morning we received a heads up that someone was planning to have a date crash the reception. the heads up did not come from the date, or the person trying to sneak them in, but a third party. I think that's what bugged me most about it. and crashing a wedding without asking or even informing the bride, after all the planning and money that had gone into the event, is just incredibly... rude. 2 days before the wedding, things were supposed to be set and we were planning to have the extra meal sent to our table. but we did have an extra meal (due to the painful ordeal the previous week) and our venue was gracious enough to let us add a person to that date's table. while the situation was still slightly infuriating, this was easier than putting up a fight and causing major drama.

later that day we picked up the dress and started making cake pops. I was using them for placecards. I had printed out the nametags a few days before, so we just had to bake the cakes and make the pops. most people thought I was insane for making my own placecards out of cake pops. and maybe I was. but rolling, sticking, and dipping was my zen moment. and they turned out adorable. Luke had left and I was stressing from a long day of little sleep, but making the cake pops really calmed me down. that, and having a glass of wine with my Katies as we painted our toes. as a side note: it seems like everyone in my life named Katie is a rock, a stronghold, and an anchor for my sanity. they all took turns keeping me grounded during the week and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Thursday: the day before. we woke up early to run last minute errands. the girls helped me with packing while I got ready. we rushed to the airport to get my last Katie. (or rather, we rocked out to Gaga while stuck in traffic trying to get to the airport. when we arrived to the hotel, I suddenly felt much better. maybe because everything was done. I was there. all I had to do was show up to certain places at certain times, looking pretty and smiling for the camera. all the months of work and planning and preparation were over. It was like a wave of calm, welcome and refreshing.

we milled around the hotel, getting ready to leave for the rehearsal. I happened to glance out a window, and saw the most vicious storm rolling in. in a few minutes, the big black clouds had turned into a torrential downpour. I had a conference with Luke and we decided to check if we could do the rehearsal on the patio... if not I was telling everyone to just hang out in the hotel lobby. they cleared us to use the patio, and on the drive over the sky cleared up. we were able to have the rehearsal outside at the ceremony site. it was just a little soggy.

the rehearsal dinner was next. it was kindof a hike from where we were at, and one car even got lost, but I think the heaping platters of delightful italian made up for it. Luke gave a great speech, and I managed to improvise something decent. our gifts- stamped silver initial necklaces for the girls, engraved cigar cases for the boys- went over well.

we came back to the hotel and schmoozed with the family that had arrived, and spent some time with our friends. (in retrospect this was a great idea. while I'm sure I could have used some extra sleep, spending time with family and friends the night before made me feel less pressured to speak with everyone at the actual wedding. that way I could focus on the people who I hadn't seen the night before, and of course having a good time!) my family was of course drinking and having fun, the Austin way. I found out later that security was actually called on them 3 times that night, typical. I stopped by to chat with my Mom and her best friend who had flown in. and then I made it down to where my college friends were hanging out. I will say this: drinking games are infinitely more fun when you are getting married. "I'm the bride, you have to do what I say... and I say drink, so DRINK!"  after the last of our friends arrived for the night, and I declared that I was going to get a good night's rest for the first time in a month. I said good night to my groom and tucked in with my girls...